Work Life Balance, one HR guys opinion

65 hours a week as the towel boy at the Playboy Mansion Grotto doesn’t equal work-life balance.  Or does it?

Work-Life Balance

Whose responsibility is work-life balance these days?  Early in my career, when I thought my manager was in charge, I thought work-life balance was the company’s responsibility.  As I have gained more experience, my attitude has shifted.  I now believe that work-life balance is just as much the employee’s responsibility.  Over the past few years, I have been meeting with two colleagues independently regularly. Both are VERY successful and driven. Yes, they both have young children. They both have MBAs, and one has a Ph.D. These two can move mountains with sheer willpower, and both inspire me.

Overdelivering and under-promising

Whenever we meet, the topic of their work-life balance and how they want their lives back comes up. They both say they work too much. Even though I am the Scrooge that I am, I have to agree.  They give too much to their employer. I can see burnout on the horizon. They want to raise the bar each quarter over their prior performance. As someone who sees their work, I know they deliver much more value than their counterparts and much more than their manager can appreciate. They both work all day, eat lunch at their desks, and then return online after the kids sleep.  They work on weekends, and I don’t think they can help themselves with it.    

Individually, I would say that despite their best efforts, they will always put in a ton of hours. The thing about this is that they both WANT work-life balance. Both say they want a company that will give it to them.  They both want to be better mothers and better husbands.  I have seen these two give 65 plus hours a week in companies they couldn’t stand working. Even when reporting to VPs and C Levels, they didn’t respect. They cannot help their work ethic despite knowing they need to figure this out. 

So what’s the point?

I find the term “work-life balance” a conundrum as an HR person. Candidates ask me about work-life balance on a day-to-day basis. I don’t think a week goes by when my peers don’t discuss work-life balance.

The multiple levels of the work-life balance quandary

• I want a work-life balance and a fun workplace. I also want to work for a company that is staying ahead of the competition, is profitable, and is working on new technologies.  In this global economy, a company with employees who want to work a 40-hour week will probably not get ahead of the competition.
• On one side of the coin, the employee must take responsibility.  Some employees don’t know what work-life balance is.  These driven individuals are always in the office late and online late.  Even IF these driven employees take a vacation, they still work.  They literally can’t help themselves.
• On the other hand, I worked in corporate America for 10+ years.  I learned a lot there and couldn’t do what I do today without that initial training ground.  However, the culture of this particular Fortune Company was one that prided itself on providing job security and not laying a single person off in 80 years.  They always found a place for their employees, regardless of performance. This company had to direct traffic at 4:30 because of the mad rush of employees trying to escape the campus as quickly as possible. By 4:45, the campus was a ghost town.  If this wasn’t enough, the lights were turned off around 6:15, and yes, I worked in the lonely glow of a monitor.

Expected busy times

Like any industry, we have our busy and normal times. If you are an accountant, you will be busy during the tax season. Work in retail? The holidays are going to require a lot of hours. If you work in the restaurant industry, don’t expect to spend Mother’s Day with Mom ever. Of course, if you are a dentist, the end of the year is when everyone wants to use up his or her benefits. Work-life balance is also about realistic expectations about what work-life balance is.

As much as I want work-life balance, I know that work-life balance is as much my responsibility as it is the employer’s. I need to set expectations with my manager. I am probably not going to get much relief during the busy times. I need to be OK with that in any industry. When our company hires, I must be prepared to talk with candidates after hours and on the weekends. On top of this, I still need to get my day-to-day work done.

Work and fun are blurry

As a tech company, we have release dates we need to hit. We are a startup that is trying to get to profitability. Consequently, we are jumping through our assholes to close deals and get signatures. This means that timelines are going to become tighter. For many of us, this is the exciting part. Disrupting an industry, creating a new product, and working with a team where everyone is on the same page makes the time fly by. This is where “work” starts to blend into “life,” and if you can find this kind of place, you relish it. When you enjoy what you are doing and the people you are working with, work-life balance becomes a much blurrier line. 

The tool of my trade

 Do you think I would be complaining if I were the pool boy at the Playboy Mansion Grotto, 65 hours a week, passing out towels to playmates? “But honey, there is a function tonight, and Hef says all pool boys on deck!  I have an important job!” 

Anger crept up on me

I used to work when the lights went out in Corporate America. When I stayed late, I was working in the dark. I then joined a startup and worked a similar number of hours. Surrounded by similar-minded folks, I hung out with these colleagues after hours.  My work ethic didn’t change, but Mrs. Nasty noticed a change. She said, “You are working the same number of hours but much happier. You aren’t angry all the time; you aren’t frustrated.”  (Could you imagine living with an angry and frustrated Mr. Nasty?) 

I didn’t realize I was angry towards the end of my corporate tenure. It crept on slowly. Over the years, it became a problem. I was the frog that got boiled. I also didn’t realize time was flying when I was having fun. There is much more to a successful work-life balance than the hours worked. Yes, Mrs. HRNasty was very supportive.  

See you at the after party,
HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky, and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

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