An HR Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving; try to be thankful

An HR Thanksgiving

As I sit here on the eve of Thanksgiving, I wanted to share my HRNasty perspective on what I am thankful for during the Thanksgiving season. I am grateful that the unemployment rate in this country is lower today. I am thankful to have a job that I enjoy, and colleagues with whom I enjoy working.

I consult with folks who are looking for career advice, want to change jobs, or quit their current gig. The grass isn’t always greener.  I hear all of the below on a fairly regular basis:

• “I have a thankless job.”
• “My boss has no idea what I do.”
• “I just wish my boss would acknowledge my hard work.”

The classic

“My boss can take this job and shove it.” 

I am here to set the record straight on Thanksgiving. We should all be thankful for our jobs. I realize the numbers for the unemployed are still high. That fact is not lost on me and is why I post on this blog. If you don’t feel like your manager is thankful enough, remember this Skippy: Your manager is cutting you a paycheck every two weeks. That is the thanks we should be caring about.  Last time I checked, a “Thank you” from your manager didn’t pay the heat or mortgage or put braces on your kid’s teeth. Cash money pays the bills and is the reason we work.

I am not proposing that we, as employees, all go to work and become assholes because our manager is an ingrate. FWIW, I am not endorsing the F.U. style of management. Low manager expectations should not translate into a green light for being the abrasive, “I don’t give a crap” employee.

I am saying this

Too often, I hear employees bitch and moan about their jobs. Sometimes, I wonder if these employees are volunteering their time and effort to their employer. If you are working, not collecting a paycheck, AND being treated like a rented mule, I get it. Volunteering with no thanks is never easy.  However, if you are cashing Acme Publishing’s paycheck every two weeks, I know many unemployed individuals who would be grateful for your opportunity.

Again, I am not endorsing the theory that since your manager is paying you, they can abuse you and take you for granted. But at the end of the day, we cannot control our manager’s actions. We are unlikely to change their management style. We can coach them and inform them about the style of management we appreciate. Most managers are not going to change. Just because they are your manager doesn’t mean they are perfect. It is up to us to see what is good in an imperfect world. 

This is love!

All women think they can change their man. Mrs. HRNasty is no different. We are a happily married couple, and I know I would do almost anything for her. This includes putting up with two dogs she brought home unannounced 16 years ago.  Did I mention I am allergic to dogs?

Mrs. HRNasty would love a Fireman-outfit-sex every night of the week, but hey, twice a month in my tightie-whities is all she is going to get. Is Mrs. HRNasty going to change my schedule?  Uhhh, no, she gets what I give, and I “gives” no more. I can spare only fourteen minutes a month.

What does Mrs. HRNasty’s lack of sex life have to do with your manager? Well, if I am not going to do something for the person I care for the most, do you think your boss will feel compelled to stroke your ego when the company pays you in greenbacks?

Who is putting up with who?

If you don’t like your manager, consider this perspective. Your manager is paying you to put up with them! You get a paycheck every two weeks to put up with their idiosyncrasies. 

Would I like an appreciative manager? Absolutely. Would I be more productive if my manager took the time to get to know me, bought me lunch, or helped me advance in my career? Ab-so-fucking-lutely. At the end of the day, I am looking for a paycheck first, a career path second (which increases my paycheck), and kudos third or fourth. Kudos are usually prioritized when career path and money are absent. 

As much as I can see where a gesture of appreciation would benefit productivity, I also know that the “just give me some space and let me do my job” management style is quite compelling.

I want to know when I fuck up

Trust me, I would much rather work with a manager who ONLY tells me when I fuck up. I don’t want a manager who sugar-coats everything and doesn’t have the professional courage to kick me in the ass when I do wrong. This style of management leads to death by a 1000 cuts.  Trust me, there is a lot worse that can happen to a career than a thankless manager.

Ultimately, I tend to consult individuals with a negative attitude. It isn’t the manager who is at fault. The attitude of the sore loser is killing their career. If you have a pissy attitude at one job, you will probably take it to the next job. An employee’s true colors will show over time or when the stress levels rise. I can help someone find a new job with a new manager, but I’ve found that employees often see what they want to see. If they see the negative side of a job and career, they will. I want to work with and help those who can make the best of the toughest situations.

We quit a manager, not a job

Employees frequently complain about their managers. I am the first to say you quit a manager, not a job. When the job market is strong, you don’t need to put up with a weak manager. When the job market is tight, and there are few options for the employee, the employee with a sour attitude sees what they always see. They find themselves in familiar territory.

• “I have a thankless job.”
• “My boss has no idea what I do.”
• “I just wish my boss would acknowledge my hard work.”

Whose career is it?

It isn’t the manager who needs to change and adapt. It is the employee. You have heard me say it before. This is our career, not our managers.  If we don’t take a positive attitude with our career, why should our manager? If we are not thankful for the professional opportunity that we are paid for, why should our manager want to help us?  No one is holding a gun to your head, saying we can’t quit.   

My Thanksgiving? I will be sitting at a Thanksgiving dinner with a couple of very close friends with whom I have the good fortune of working. I don’t think this relationship just happened and came easily. We work on this friendship as a team. Yes, one of them is the guy I report to, and he shows appreciation to the employees he works with. Today, there were huge pumpkin pies and a can of whipped cream for everyone in the company. This Thanksgiving, we will grill steaks, and significant others will have to put up with our cigars, shop talk, and inside jokes. Then we headed home, and I generously spent 3.5 minutes with Mrs. HRNasty, sans Fireman outfit.   

See you at the after party,
HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky, and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

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