How many people have you bought coffee for this past week?

Networking for Recent Graduates

This post is about professional networking.

After working with a few executives and a recent graduate, I noticed a pattern. There’s an entire generation of candidates reinventing the wheel.

In this case, the wheel is made of stone.

When I talk with recent graduates about where they’re finding job leads, I hear the usual suspects: LinkedIn, The Ladders, Craigslist.

When I ask my executive friends the same question, I hear a very different list: friends, personal and professional networks, industry groups, and associations.

Same goal. Completely different approach.

The Difference Most People Miss

I don’t remember the last executive we hired who came through a job posting.

I do remember when we hired a recent graduate via a referral. It happens occasionally, but not often. When it does, the referral usually comes from one of two places:

• A parent who is a senior manager or executive, leveraging their professional network to make an introduction

• A peer working in social media or a related field where the role was already posted

That second one should sound familiar.

We’ve all heard the phrase: It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

The problem is that many recent graduates don’t actually understand what that means in practice.

After talking with several early-career candidates, it became clear that many don’t understand what networking is, how it works, or how it benefits them. They know the word. They don’t know the system.

What’s missing isn’t ambition or intelligence.
It’s an understanding of how networking behavior is interpreted on the other side of the table.

Executives aren’t listening for enthusiasm.
They’re watching for signals.

If this post resonates, check out the Networking Guide

This post explains why networking breaks down for early-career professionals.

They haven’t been trained. 

They were told to “put themselves out there,” not how to move through conversations without pressure, embarrassment, or overshooting the moment.

I go deeper on this in the Networking Guide, where I explain how networking actually works when roles are filled quietly, before postings appear, and before recruiters get involved.

 Start with the Networking hub here
(Free posts first. Full guide if you want the complete system.)

What Professional Networking Isn’t

Here are two common scenarios I see with recent graduates.

Situation 1: The Emergency Ask

I receive a text or email:

“HRNasty, I have an interview in two days. Can you meet me tomorrow to help me prep?”

Usually, the meeting is suggested at a location convenient for the graduate.

I limit these to a polite response:
“I’m booked tomorrow. Maybe we can talk by phone for a few minutes.”

No one wants to put their name on an ill-prepared candidate.

Trying to prepare someone for an interview in under an hour is like trying to teach them how to land a fighter jet on an aircraft carrier. We might practice two or three questions.

I hang up knowing that even if they answer those correctly, they’re unlikely to make it past the first round.

Situation 2: The Shortcut Request

Another email or text:

“HRNasty, I heard you helped Johnny land a great job and earn a good salary. Can you do the same for me?”

Again, the meeting is usually proposed at a location convenient to the graduate. No offer to buy a coffee. No acknowledgment of time.

That isn’t bitterness. I do occasionally meet young professionals who give me hope. But more often, the meeting unfolds like this:

• Jeans and a T-shirt. No hint of business casual or the ability to suit up

• “I’m looking for a job.”

• “Here’s my résumé.” One copy, shared across the table

• “What should I do?”

That’s not an exaggeration. That’s often the entire meeting.

The Questions I Actually Ask

Here’s what I try to work with:

• How can I help?

• What do you want to walk away with at the end of this meeting?

• What kind of job, internship, or introductions are you looking for?

• What size company interests you?

• What industry excites you?

• What compensation range are you targeting?

The response is often a blank stare, a shrug, or “I don’t know.”

At that point, asking more questions doesn’t help. The more concerning part is that the candidate doesn’t realize there’s a problem.

Nature or Nurture

The evolutionist in me wants to blame the cavemen.

If this were Neanderthal times, Darwin would have a full belly.

The humanitarian in me lands somewhere else.

Most of these candidates were never shown what professional effort looks like. No one explained how to demonstrate interest, preparation, or respect for the other person’s time.

Effort matters. Yes, I said it twice.

The Real Gap

This isn’t about intelligence or ambition.

It’s about understanding how trust is built before you need it.

Executives don’t network when they’re desperate. They network long before an opportunity appears. By the time a role exists, the relationship is already there.

Recent graduates are taught to ask for help.

Executives are taught to make it easy for them to help.

That difference shows up immediately in the room.

The Part No One Explains

Recent graduates are taught to ask for help.

Executives are taught to avoid creating risk.

Those two ideas collide in networking meetings.

What feels polite or eager to one person can feel unprepared or risky to the other. That gap isn’t obvious when you’re early in your career, and no one points it out until it costs you opportunities.

By the time a role exists, executives aren’t deciding who is qualified.

They’re deciding who already feels safe.

That judgment happens long before anyone asks for a job.

When you are meeting colleagues, think about meeting with your friends

Most people think they know how to network. 

If you want to go deeper

 Start with the Networking hub here
(Free posts first. Full guide if you want the complete system.)

See you at the after party,

HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky, and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

Ongoing writing and context live on LinkedIn.

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