Attempt to avoid the traditional HR “positivity quote” of the day
Positive attitude vs. Negative attitude
A positive attitude is an asset and anyone that tells you otherwise sucks. All kidding aside, a negative attitude is one of the personality traits that will keep an individual contributor out of management. It doesn’t matter how technically proficient we are on the job. Without a positive attitude, the career ladder will only reach so high. Most of us are reading this post and thinking “HRNasty, you state the obvious. I don’t have a negative attitude so I don’t need to continue reading.”
Au contraire mon ami
90 percent of employees think they have a positive attitude. Managers think 90% of their employees are neutral to negative. My Vegas odds say that most managers feel only 10% of their team verbalize a positive attitude. We may be positive thinkers but if the team or our manager “perceive” us to be negative, then that is how we will be branded. This brand will not help us climb the career ladder.
The thing about a negative attitude is that most of us do not know we sound negative. We may think we have a positive attitude, but what is heard by others is often different. Below I will provide examples of common responses to the request that most of us take for granted.
It’s not what we say, it’s what people hear
HR observations
Three observations after years of seeing employees passed over for promotion and declined in interviews:
- Having a neutral tone in conversation is better than having a negative tone. A neutral tone won’t get you promoted.
- We may have a neutral tone. We may not sound negative, but if we don’t sound positive, we won’t be perceived as positive. Let me say that one more time. We may not sound negative, but if we don’t sound positive, we won’t be perceived as positive.
- We can be positive about our friends, our colleagues, and our projects, but if we are negative on our selves, it will be tough to climb the ladder.
In the immortal words of Rob Schneider from the movie Water Boy “You can do ittttt”
I used to be the guy that rolled his eyes when someone was talking about PMA. I wasn’t just THAT guy I was the guy that had eyes rolling like a giant Ferris wheel. Over time I trained myself to see the “other side” of every situation and trust me, in my field, there is always the “other side”.
Fast forward to the present
I roll my eyes when I hear anyone poo-poo an idea, tell me a project cannot be done, or comes into an interview and the answers end on a negative sound bite. In most cases, these party pooper’s don’t even know what they sound like. After all, who would come into an interview with negativity or present themselves as less than positive to their manager?
Why demonstrate a positive attitude?
For starters, no one wants to be around Negative Nelly. Gather any 5 people, ask them about the traits they want to see in their next hire or co-worker and “positive attitude”, “fun”, and “open-minded” will be at the top of the list.
Requisite dating analogy
It doesn’t matter how easy on the eyes a potential plus one is, or how much we have in common with our future ex. We will grow bored and frustrated if they possess a negative attitude. We will put up with the potential +1 longer than normal, but the end result will be the same.
When it comes to management roles, having a positive attitude is key. Managers aren’t really needed when the times are good, deals are rolling in and everyone is making their bonuses. Any monkey can hand out a raise or a bonus. Managers are needed when times are tough, when the deal flow is drying up and when the results are not there. Good managers are paid to solve problems and it is tough to follow or be inspired by a manager who is always thinking “we’ll never get it done” or “that’s impossible”. Managers figure it out. Great managers solve problems. The expectation is that managers produce results. Most leadership teams believe they can teach technical skills and do NOT believe they can teach a positive attitude. F-U-L-L S-T-O-P.
Moon Shot
If you say any of the below on a regular basis, you probably aren’t getting into management anytime soon.
- “No”. Extra steps backwards in the ladder to management if you say “No” without a reason why it is a “no”.
- “That can’t be done”. I have said it before and will say it again. If we put a man on the moon in the 60’s, we can do anything. It may cost more money and take more resources than what is initially available, but it CAN be done. The United States proved it. Our first rocket didn’t make it to the moon, we made baby steps, but we did it.
- NASA shot a moon into space.
- The United States put a monkey into space.
- We orbited the moon.
- THEN we landed on the moon.
- The United States put a man on the moon.
- Any sentence implying an idea is stupid, dumb or useless. We don’t have to state the idea is stupid, dumb or useless, but if that is the impression we leave, we probably are not going to hear any further ideas.
Positive Examples
One of the most creative biz dev guys I know and admire taught me that the answer should never be “No”. The answer should always be “Yes” or “Yes, if”. As in “Yes, IF we can do X or Y”. So, if someone asks if we can haul the piano up the stairs to the 4th floor, we don’t say “No, it can’t be done”. We try some version of “Yes IF we just have the right equipment including a crane and we can take the window out of the room it is supposed to go in. We will put the piano through the window.
The CEO pulled me aside and gave me an edict: “Don’t ever let me fire Creative Biz Dev Guy. He and TL are the only two guys that understand where I am coming from when I am thinking forward and dreaming big. Everyone else thinks I am on crack and shit’s on my ideas but those two guys can see the potential”. Two lessons here:
- If you want to hear ideas from your team, don’t shit on them when they are suggested.
- Anyone can see the potential of an idea with the right frame of mind.
These two guys didn’t think about how it “couldn’t be done”. They were always figuring out how it CAN be accomplished and this is why they were able to keep up with the CEO. Are you an AmericCAN or an AmeriCAN’T?
There are no impossible tasks. There are “interesting problems” and “tough challenges”.
Alternatives to negative answers
Instead of saying “No”, “No, it can’t be done.” or “No, that’s stupid.”
Try: “That is an interesting challenge. That could be tough. Let me think about that for a minute?” If we say “It can’t be done” and someone does get it done, we will have mud on our face.
Try: “I can see where we could come to that conclusion. Have WE thought about it this way?”
Instead of saying: “We don’t have enough people / budget to get that done.”
Try: “Let’s figure out how many / how much it will take to get what we need and back off from that number.” Then follow-up with:
- “What is the minimum that we can get away with?”
- “What can we do to make an initial viability test?”
Instead of saying, “It isn’t MMYYYYY fault”
Try: “I am sure whatever happened wasn’t intentional. Let’s figure out how to improve the situation.”
Instead of saying “I don’t like that.” Or “I hate that”.
Try: “I haven’t learned to appreciate that yet. What should I be looking for?”
Instead of saying “Johnny is stupid, dumb, an asshole, etc”.
Try: A small personal dose of STFU. OK, that sounded horrible, but I am pretty sure you will remember it. BOOYAHHH!
Glass half full
The goal is to think before we speak and try t0 present ourselves in at LEAST a neutral tone. It’s not going to happen overnight. The change will be a process.
Look at the glass as half full instead of half empty and if the glass is less than half full, find a smaller glass.
Next week: how to shed a reputation for having a negative attitude.
See you at the after party,
HRNasty
nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone who is good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.
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