My HR Philosophy

Most people misunderstand how career decisions are actually made.

That misunderstanding is costly. Costly to your career trajectory and ultimately to your paycheck.

People assume outcomes are driven by logic, fairness, and stated criteria.

In reality, career-shaping decisions are made by people, and understanding how those people interpret behavior matters more than intent.

We don’t get to change those dynamics. We get to understand them and move effectively within them.

This page explains the lens behind everything I write

I’ve spent decades inside closed-door conversations where hiring, layoffs, promotions, and performance decisions are made. Who gets opportunities? Who doesn’t? Why?

You may not respect the reasoning behind many of those decisions. That’s understandable. But once you understand how the machine works, you can adjust inputs and influence outcomes.

Hiring, Coaching, and Reality

In fast-growing companies, the people you hire today often become the leaders tomorrow.

Hiring should be slow and intentional. You hire to win the war, not the next sprint.

Once someone is hired:

  • You try to coach up. Sometimes you have to coach out.
  • You do not screw up paychecks. Ever.
    And if you do, you own it immediately, even when you’re technically right.

Here’s an uncomfortable reality:

Most employees do not know how to succeed at work.

They were never taught. School didn’t cover it. Companies rarely explain it.

Goal setting, initiative, collaboration, and navigating expectations vary wildly between organizations — and even between teams within the same organization.

At the same time, most managers were never trained to manage. Many receive less management training than new hires receive onboarding.

Employees need patience with managers.
Managers need patience with employees.

Both are being judged on rules they were never formally taught.

Professional Courage Matters

The most valuable thing leaders can model is professional courage.

Avoiding hard conversations feels kind in the moment, but it creates larger problems later. Coaching, when done well, is an act of respect.

It’s not what we say.
It’s how we say it.

Michael Jordan once said, “I don’t hate anything. I just haven’t learned how to appreciate it yet.” That level of composure matters.

Tone carries signal.

Delivery determines whether a message becomes guidance — or a scar.

Bias Exists. Interpretation Matters.

We don’t get to choose where we’re born, how we’re raised, or the cultural norms we’re taught.

Those things matter at work.

Bias affects how behavior is interpreted, how confidence is perceived, and how mistakes are judged. Pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone.

This affects everyone — including the majority.

The workplace is not your home. Most homes are culturally consistent. Workplaces are not. Some cultures reward speaking up. Others reward deference. Some value punctuality rigidly. Others don’t.

The tragedy is that this isn’t a capability issue.

It’s a communication and risk-calibration issue.

There is a way to speak up without offending.
There is a way to disagree without insulting.
There is a way to show conviction without burning bridges.

It’s not what you say.
It’s how you say it.

Learning that skill doesn’t just change how people experience you. It changes the trajectory of your career.

Culture Is Not Ping-Pong Tables

Culture isn’t free food, ping-pong tables, or slogans on the wall

Culture is built by:

  • Who you hire
  • What you tolerate
  • What gets coached versus what gets cut
  • Whether expectations are stated clearly and enforced consistently

Real culture shows up when something goes wrong.

Transparency builds trust, but transparency also scares people. Often not because of the truth itself, but because of how others might use it. When organizations can’t be transparent, it’s usually because expectations are unclear or the wrong people are in the environment.

I’ve worked at companies consistently ranked as “Best Places to Work” without flashy perks. What they had was shared mission, mutual accountability, and credibility.

Culture lives in people’s minds, not in the office budget.

Fit Matters More Than Universal Fairness

The so-called “no asshole rule” is often misunderstood.

You can build a successful company full of assholes. They’ll know exactly what kind of environment they’re in, they’ll be surrounded by people like them, and they’ll thrive within that system.

That doesn’t mean it’s an environment I want to work in.

The real insight is this:
Not every culture is for everyone, and pretending otherwise quietly damages careers.

Misfit creates friction.
Friction creates labels.
Labels follow people longer than they realize.

Being intentional about culture — and about who belongs in it — matters more than trying to be everything to everyone.

HR Is Contextual, Not One-Size-Fits-All

Not all companies need the same style of HR.

A large, regulated public company requires a very different approach than a small, fast-moving startup. The goal isn’t to “do HR by the book.” The goal is to help companies achieve results without breaking the law — or breaking people unnecessarily.

The law is a baseline.
Culture, judgment, and compassion determine outcomes.

Generic advice fails because context matters.

Why This Page Exists

Most of HR’s real work happens behind closed doors. Employees rarely see the conversations, trade-offs, and constraints that shape outcomes.

That silence creates frustration and mistrust. People assume nothing is happening when, in reality, privacy limits what can be shared.

This site exists to pull back just enough of the curtain to help people make better decisions earlier — without pretending full visibility is possible or appropriate.

  • If you are working hard and wondering why your career is stalling, this blog is for you.
  • Candidates who are not successful in job interviews? I probably know why.
  • What to do after being laid off? I got you.
  • Want to manage your manager? Step-by-step action plan here.

Where This Leads

This philosophy is the lens behind everything I write.

The blog explores individual ideas as they surface.

The Guides pull those ideas together into short, practical reads for moments where careers are commonly damaged — or quietly saved.

If this way of thinking resonates, the Guides are the clearest place to start.

If you want the next posts delivered automatically, hit subscribe. Otherwise, swing by each week — I’ll be behind the velvet rope and will wave you in.

 

 

See you at the after party,

HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone who is good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

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