Company Christmas tree
Given the heightened sensitivity in the workplace and the insensitivity in the political arena, I thought I would update a classic post. Every year, I am asked an age-old HR question. “Can we have a company Christmas tree at work?” Questions start coming in hot the day after Halloween and continue mercilessly through December. Now that Thanksgiving has passed, the pressure is on for a decision. The sooner a decision is made, the less I hear about it.
The company Christmas Tree at work question is a relatively new phenomenon. I bet this question wasn’t asked in the good ol’ HR days circa pre-1990. Ahh, the good old days of HR. As a minority, I can appreciate the question. As an HR practitioner, I dread it. I never know how the topic will go or how much of the executive meeting time it will take. If there is one thing I have learned about developing company policy, it is that I will not make everyone happy. Readers of the blog know I preach a couple of tenets:
Don’t worry about the naysayers
I don’t consider a policy from the perspective of those who I fear will complain. HR should not participate in defensive policy creation. I propose a policy for the company’s benefit. So, if we want to have Beer Fridays, I don’t worry about the one person who might have too much to drink or the one person who is against drinking in the workplace. I suggest a policy that will enhance our company culture (work hard and celebrate responsibly) and hire to that standard. I don’t get it right every time, but I keep swinging. A defensive policy would be “No drinking on company premises, period, end of the story, STFU, talk to the hand, read my lips, etc.”
(I would address the one person who had too much to drink, vs. punish the entire company by banning beer on premises)
Explain where the policy is coming from
I make an effort to explain policy. I want to explain the “why” three times, three different ways. HRNasty understands that I and the executive team had a lot of time to review and dissect any suggested policy. We should not expect employees to understand a new policy when it is delivered in a single blow, such as an all-company email. I want to explain the policy so that, even if the employee doesn’t like the decision personally, they can understand it from a business perspective. Hopefully, the colleagues I work with can think, “I don’t care for the policy, but I understand why the business needs to make this decision.” So, when I am asked about a Christmas tree in the workplace,
I try to show:
- Compassion
- Patience
- An appreciation of diversity
Below is my effort to the company announcing the decision on the company Christmas tree. It is nearing the end of December, and I hope this will quiet the rioters, answer questions, and appease the HR gods.
To all employees,
On Monday, we are going to put up an Ornament Hanger that is not affiliated with any particular religion, age, gender, or sexual orientation. This will be placed in the front lobby, as we believe it is the most neutral location in the company. When we say “neutral,” we mean everyone will have equal access to its presentation. It will be an Evergreen variety, so we apologize for not representing the deciduous varieties. Don’t worry, it will be a fay-, I mean an artificial tree. No trees were harmed, cut down, dehydrated from lack of watering, tied up, or strapped to the roof of a car in an uncaring way.
Tree of life (can I say that?)
Those who are inclined to participate in decorating our centerpiece are welcome to do so. We hope the Ornament Hanger represents our company’s diversity. Please (and only if you want to) bring in a single ornament of your choice to help us decorate the Ornament Hanger (which we will return to you after January 1). Participation is not mandatory, and those who choose not to participate will be respected. My contribution will be a fly-fishing-related ornament because, as most of you know, my passion is fishing. We do not guarantee the safe return of any ornaments and accept no responsibility for their return.
It’s voluntary people
On this Ornament Hanger, of no particular religion, gender, age, or sexual orientation, height, or circumference, we will have tags that the local shelter dropped off. Each of these tags will present you with the opportunity to make a family’s end-of-December a little more memorable by offering gift suggestions. This is strictly voluntary. Because this is purely voluntary, we are not collecting employee names or comparing results (seriously). We have a total of 30 tags, so work in teams, singles, or departments to make a family in need’s (OR MORE) wishes come true.
Safety first
Please bring your “opportunities to make a young person’s End of December memorable” unwrapped and in new, unopened box condition. This is for the safety of the recipients, as this is an age where
If you have extra lights or popcorn strings, feel free to bring them in. We could use a Wonder Woman, King Kong, or GI Joe figurine with a Kung Fu Grip to place at the top of the tree. If not, a star, angel, or a deer with a red nose would probably work in a pinch. Our only requests are:
- We hold off on candles so we don’t burn the place down.
- Avoid the use of flock in any color because it is too hard to vacuum and could show favoritism
- In consideration of employees with allergies, the ornament hanger will not be scented or sprayed with scent
Don’t worry about your little children or pets around this tree, the stand will be bolted into the floor for your safety (and the company liability.)
Have fun!
HRNasty
Disclaimer: For those who are horrified and took this seriously, this is a tongue-in-cheek piece. This is my attempt at humor to help HR professionals who are being asked age-old HR doosies.
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