Shit people say when they ask for a raise

Think before you ask for a raise

The shit people say when they ask for a raise

Everyone has a horror story from their industry. If you are a waiter, you have had the diner from hell. A demanding customer who left no tip. Work for the airline? Oy vey. If you were Santa, your story is probably about the little crumb snatcher that had the crap scared out of him, literally when little Johnny took a seat in Santa’s lap.

Every industry has its horror stories. For HR people, horror stories fall into a couple of different categories. The shit people say in interviews comes to mind. The other category that is HR water cooler fodder is the shit you hear when folks ask for a raise.

Tenure doesn’t mean doo-doo

Raises are not given because you have been with a company for a certain number of years. They are not given because of a single completed project. Raises are given because you are bringing more value to the company. Tenure with a company provides you the POTENTIAL of bringing more value because you have had more time to learn and master the specific skills your company needs. Time doesn’t mean you are owed anything.

Most managers want to give a raise to someone because of the value they bring on a daily basis. The following are the reasons they will NOT give you a raise and is the shit we hear when employees ask for a raise.

“My significant other said I should be making X dollars.”

You would be surprised how often I have heard this one. When I hear this self-proclaimed logic, I hear several things and think a lot more. What I didn’t hear is why you deserve a raise. I may be a complete asshole here, but if someone mentions their significant other in this discussion, I am going to think even less of them. Who are you working for? Are you reporting to your manager at Acme Publishing or your future Ex? Who is judging the quality of your work at Acme Publishing? Just because your significant other notices that the Joneses across the street have bought a new Lexus does not concern Acme Publishing.

“Joey comes in late daily, and he told me he makes 5K more than I do.”   

OMG!  Did I hear that you two are discussing your salaries? There are numerous issues with this conversation. I don’t know where to start, but I won’t let that stop me. No two significant others are equal, and no two employees are equal. Even if you do the same job in the same department, HR rarely sees two employees as EXACTLY equal.  You have no insight into what is happening behind the scenes with Joey’s career. We don’t know what circumstances Joey is REALLY working under.  You don’t even know if Joey is telling you the truth. If someone is doing the same job as you told you they were making X, there are not too many circumstances where you will admit to making less.

Someone is going to be pissed

I know what Joey makes. Unfortunately, I cannot confirm or deny this to you. He has inflated his number nine times out of 10 in this situation. Most people won’t tell others they are making less than someone else doing the same job. I see the numbers, and I hear the stories. Most people inflate their salary because they don’t think that anyone would be so dumb as to tell his or her manager about this conversation. Whenever two people discuss salary, someone is bound to walk away feeling hurt. You don’t want to walk away hurt, and you don’t want to hurt someone else.

My friend gets a raise every year. I haven’t had a raise in three years.

Yes, I have heard this. Don’t worry that the company down the street is in a different industry and size, and your friend does a completely different job. (All three were the case) Just because another company does something doesn’t mean it is feasible for your company to do the same.  If you haven’t had a raise in three years, there could be any number of reasons, but if you are using this logic, well. . . . .

“I just did X, Y, and Z.  I deserve a raise.”

If you are looking for that upcoming opportunity, find out what it takes to make it happen. Ask what it takes. Explain that you will show them your value through several different skill sets that will be used to complete the UPCOMING projects “X, Y, and Z”.  If they disagree that these projects demonstrate proficiency with additional skill sets that make you worth a raise, pin down what will. Make the deal beforehand.

The value you bring to the company’s bottom line

If you are saving more money than you did when you first started, the company can begin to justify a raise. If you are earning more money than when you first started, the company can begin to justify a raise. I don’t know many companies that can justify a raise just for “showing up.”

Present your case when you ask for a raise, as you propose any new idea. Present it from a business perspective. We might be human, but we are merely a commodity that provides an ROI to the business. It’s tough in this economy, but most companies won’t be able to justify a raise until they produce more or reduce costs. Produce the same output level as you did the prior year, and you will be paid what you were last year.

If we were producing ten widgets an hour last year and are producing ten widgets an hour this year, then we are not worth more to the company.

Professional athletes are a great example of a return on investment for a team/company. Athlete salaries are public. We know what everyone is making. Remember our two significant others from above?  No two SOs are the same, and no two employees are the same.  When was the last time you heard of two pro athletes in the same position getting the same contract?  Yes, the numbers are obscene, but the bottom line is that if you don’t produce, you don’t play. If your performance remains lackluster, you risk losing your contract. Forget the marquee players right out of college for just a moment.

Ninety-eight percent of the rookie players will receive a relatively decent salary out of college. If performing, the athlete will receive more money on their second contract. They receive more because they have more experience and bring more to the team.  These folks are scoring more, blocking more, and assisting more. More value. The points they put on the board, yards gained, assists, or interceptions are all performance indicators.  As the athlete ages, they produce less for the team. They may have been with a team for 10-plus years and have a rabid fan base, but if they don’t grow, they will get cut. It isn’t about tenure. Tenure enables you to develop the skills that will benefit your specific company.

Next time you are going to ask for a raise, think it through from the business perspective, and you won’t be water cooler fodder.

See you at the after party,
HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky, and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

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