4 signs you are a great manager or a great leader

Are you a great manager?

What is a great manager? There are plenty of posts on “Managers vs. Bosses” and just as many on “When you know you have a lousy boss.” Today’s post offers a different spin on the topic, and I hope to provide some food for thought about whether you are a manager or want to be one.

As a preface, I generally don’t care for the word “boss.” Whenever someone refers to me personally as “their boss,” I cringe. I worry about what I am doing wrong. For me, the word boss smacks of chain gangs, salt mines, and insecure folks promoted via the Peter Principle. Below, I list a few more subtle practices that make up a great manager or strong leader.

Relationships with the team outside of work:

I don’t understand it when managers insist they cannot have a personal relationship with employees who report to them or have less experience. For the record, I am not referring to the “Hostile workplace; you want to keep your job, then you will do what I say” creepy and litigious kind of relationships. I am referring to the manager who doesn’t want to have lunch, hang out after hours, or befriend anyone on their team. I am referring to the manager who declines the team’s invitation to get drinks or go bowling after work or after a long, hard week in the trenches. This manager wants to keep everything “On a professional level.” The fear often mentioned is that a personal relationship will make it hard for the manager to lay down disciplinary measures if needed.

If you are a manager and your team asks you to attend an event with them, you move mountains and skip little Suzy’s recital to attend. They won’t ask you twice.

I am conflicted. I don’t know whether I should respect or resent this mentality. The manager who insists they won’t hang out with co-workers knows and understands the limits of their management skills. How do these narcissists raise their children?  I know that I learned the most from the managers and mentors with whom I developed a personal relationship. More professional growth occurred when I could hang out after hours with the managers I reported to. In these social situations, outside of work, my managers were able to share “the real deal.” After hours, the depth of the discussions is the type of detail I try to go into here in these posts.

It was these very discussions that I had on a personal level that kept me out of trouble and helped me progress professionally. I am NOT saying that managers should and become best friends with everyone on their team, I am saying that we shouldn’t avoid the opportunity.

CEOs lead teams

The executive team reports directly to the CEO. The CMO, CFO, CTO, and CHRO all report to the CEO. You won’t hear a CEO say, “I make it a point to keep my relationship with the team professional. I separate business and personal life, and therefore, I won’t hang out with the team after hours”. You won’t find many executives who are willing to work for this type of CEO in the long term. Most of these teams hang out together after hours. CEOs know that a tight-knit team will work harder and longer for each other and the CEO.

We all know a team with nothing in common or lacking a personal connection is “just showing up.” They don’t call them team-building exercises for nuthin’, Leroy!  The companies pay big bucks for team-building events in hopes of fostering personal connections beyond work. As individual contributors, most of us had our best relationships with managers who took a personal interest in our lives. Or at least faked it well.

A great manager won’t introduce a colleague as a “Direct report.”

A great manager won’t make it a point to let everyone know that “He reports to me.” I call bullshit. I report to a great one, and when my CEO introduces me, he always builds me up. He doesn’t take me down. A typical introduction will sound like the following:

• “This is HRNasty; he just got us on the number a Gold Medal finish in the list for Best Place to Work.”
• “This is HRNasty, just like you, he is really into fly-fishing. You guys have much in common”.

If I feel good, I will perform better

If the person I am being introduced to has confidence that the CEO respects me, the relationship will start on an entirely different playing field.

I couldn’t imagine our CEO introducing me to a colleague with the following: “This is HRNasty. He is new to the executive team, but we are working on bringing him up to speed.” This CEO wouldn’t say this, so I will put in extra hours. He does everything he can to make me look good. I end up doing the same for him.

I try really hard to refer to anyone I am with as “a colleague,” including wet behind-the-ear interns. A few years ago, I had the privilege of working with a high-powered lawyer who oversaw the helicopter division of a large aircraft manufacturer. I should and would have happily reported to this guy in less than half a heartbeat. He was genuine, and when we visited his office, where the minimum rate is $1200.00 an hour, I was introduced to everyone as his colleague. There is no way I am this guy’s “colleague”. I am his shadow and mentee. . .  

Life lesson to this day

Dammmn! I didn’t go to an Ivy League school, and I don’t have a Ph.D., but I was introduced as a colleague and made to feel equal in a house of Ballah’s. Thank you, KO. That was a life lesson that I try to practice to this day. I would have to sign up for his crew in a second because of his sincere and natural detail for the respect of others. P.S. This guy was a litigation attorney and proved you don’t need to be an ass to be a litigator.

Dissin’ the Second Waiter / Waitress

You know the one I am talking about. You sit down at a restaurant, and the First Waiter comes by, introduces themselves, and asks if they can get drinks started. After going through the introductions and the specials, the First Waiter introduces the Second Waiter, who happens to be standing two steps back and 1 to the left in, dare I say, “respect.” “This is Joe Newbie; he is new and learning the job.” The second waiter just quietly smiles but doesn’t say anything. 

I get the distinct feeling that the insecure and dominant, I mean, First Waiter, will act like an NFL linebacker. They want to ensure that the Second Waiter in training won’t contaminate your food by serving it or mess up your order because they haven’t earned the right to carry a pen. The trainee can’t stand too close to the table for fear of ruining the ambiance. 

Just once, I would like to hear “I am Joey, and this is Suzy, we will be helping you tonight. She is learning our system tonight and helping me out. I am really excited to have her on the team”. I realize that may sound corny in writing, but you are a frickin’ waiter; it is your job to sell yesterday’s meatloaf. The Second Waiter is excited to be in a new gig, give her some leeway, and sell her as an equal, not someone in a protected class or two.

“But I can’t coach them. They don’t report to me.”

I always cringe when someone tells me they cannot coach a fellow employee/colleague because “ I am not their boss.” Give me a break, Gomer. If you say this and want to be a manager, you are not ready to be one. The most excellent managers don’t want to be managers; they want to help those around them succeed naturally. If you want to be a manager, a significant first step is to demonstrate that you can motivate others without a title.

A great manager will motivate the folks on their team and influence the folks they report to and those beyond their department. Their circle of influence is not limited to the team.

Hard to believe but true. Coaching folks out of your jurisdiction is the first step if you want to be a great manager. If you have a problem with a co-worker, ask your manager for help instead of complaining. Managers and would-be managers don’t complain; they solve problems.

Hopefully, the above offers some different ways to look at the role of a great manager. What are some other examples of a great manager inspiring you? Share them in the comments below, and let’s get this party started.

See you at the pre-funk,

HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone who is good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

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