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Rude LinkedIn Introductions, did you know you just sent one?

Rude LinkedIn Introductions

Believe it or not, this is just rude and lazy

Illin’ LinkedIn Introductions

In the last few weeks, I feel like I suddenly got popular with all the LinkedIn Introductions I have received.  Not in the “hot girl at the dance” kind of way and not in the “our company just got a billion dollar valuation” way.  Either my name is on a wall in a bathroom stall or my LinkedIn account hit a tipping point and has enough momentum to build on itself.

The issue I have with these Illin’ (Inconsiderate LinkedIn Lazy INtro’s) LinkedIn Introductions is that they arrive in the inbox with no note, no introduction, and what I feel is a lack of professionalism.  If I have known you for a while, we just caught up and when I get back to the office I see the invite to connect, I “almost” get it, but even then, would it kill someone to include a “great catching up with you”?  Lately, I have been receiving a lot of invites from people I don’t know with no note, no introduction, nada.  Just the standard message that your LinkedIn introductions provide:

“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.”

For those of the Facebook generation, let me put it into perspective.  OMFG!  Seriously!  That’s just rude!  I don’t care how hot, popular, or rich you are, I just think it is a little assuming to show up in my inbox with no introduction or purpose and ask me for something.   It is one step removed from the pop up that you receive when on a porn site that says something like “Lavender92 left you a message”.   Not that I would know. . . I work in HR.

Am I asking too much?  Am I old-fashioned?

LinkedIn introductions give professionals a great vehicle to connect, has made it super easy to reach out and touch someone and more often than not the opportunity is squandered.    Just a couple of clicks of the mouse and you have the potential to be connected.  Look mom, no typing!  But this isn’t Facebook.  This isn’t a personal and informal network for the mamarazzi.  I look at this as a platform and opportunity to show off professional chops.  I don’t want 500 connections with people I have never worked with, emailed with, or been introduced to.  I would rather have 50 quality connections that I trust, have worked with, or networked with.  If I am going to connect with someone, I want the first impression to be one that is thoughtful, shows some respect, and yes, kisses up to some extent.  I am not reaching out to you, you are reaching out to me.  Are you such a celebrity that I should be jumping at the chance to connect with you?

True Story:  A family member was the right-hand woman to the governor of our state.  The governor, who I had never met before in person, came to our house to pick up the family member.  I opened the door and the governor doesn’t introduce himself or say hello.  Just says “is (family member name here) around?”  I was seriously pissed.  Of course, I know who this guy is.  He was an Asian Super Hero in my mind UNTIL THAT MOMENT.  Of all the people who should have some manners. . .it should be this guy.  In our household, we were brought up to always invite a guest into the house and never yell for someone but to speak to them face to face.  I wanted to stand right there in front of him, look him straight in the eye and yell out my family members name and say “some old dude is here for you!”  I didn’t invite him and his protection detail in the house, but I did go upstairs and fetch my sister.  I am no philistine.

Does this sound familiar to your LinkedIn introductions?  Show up, ask for something and assume I am going to run hither?

If you are reaching out to connect with me (and I am a nobody), is it wrong of me to ask WHY?  Is that vain of me?  I am not expecting anyone to say, “hey sexy, saw your picture on LinkedIn, wanna hook up?”  But would it kill anyone to type something like:

  • Heard you speak at the recruiting event last week and wanted to reach out.  I took your advice, thanks!   Let me know if I can return the favor.
  • Saw your blog post and wanted to reach out.  Thought what you said about networking was spot on.
  • I saw that you are going to attend the Best Place to Work awards next week, and was hoping I could introduce myself there, just wanted to reach out.

The above gives me confidence that this connection may lead to something that we will both appreciate.  It leaves me all touchy – feely – goosey- bumpy and even if you are a vendor looking to get into our pants, at least I get the feeling you are trying.

Am I asking too much when I ask for 2 sentences?  Did common courtesy just pass me by?

Well, today is your lucky day because HRNasty wants to be the role model.  Be one of the first 5 people to post this to your LinkedIn network and your thoughts in the comments below and I will send you an HRNasty window decal with a handwritten thank you note.   I am bringing it back old school biatches!  Boohhhyahhhh!

Did technology kill professionalism and courtesy like video killed the radio star?   I just did a speaking event for someone last week and the thank you I received was an email that said “thank for speaking” in the subject line and the body of the email was blank.  Not even a signature.  Thanks a lot, buddy.

LinkedIn introductions are a tool.  Just like your daddy said, “Take care of the tool and the tool will take care of you.”

See you at the after party,


nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired, a phrase used to describe someone who is good at something. “He has a nasty forkball”.

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  • MsKrisB

    I’m newly on the unemployment market after a 10yr period of not leaving a role without another to go to. I’ve been on LinkedIn for the past five or so with what I thought was a pretty strong profile and a good number of connections.

    Now using this as one of my job seeking tools, with some research on why to date its proven ineffective – wow have I made some big faux pas and potentially career limiting moves, embarrassingly too many of them covered in your article. Saying that I do get many people blind adding me simply because every second person wants to be in my field. I usually ignore, exactly as you say – what’s in it for me?

    I’m now pulling together a strategy of do’s and don’ts with part of this definatrly drawing on advice such as yours. So thank you for posting and for helping build a savvier and more mature networker/candidate!

    • MsKrisB,
      Thanks for stopping by. Don’t worry about the past faux pas, just concentrate on making your network stronger and leveraging it effectively. Feel free to reach out and let me know if I can help.

  • Larry McKeogh

    …and then when you bump into the philistine at some point in the future you can see the puzzelment about why you haven’t accepted their request.

    Generally such requests would be a 1-way street anyway.

    Great points once again.

    • hrnasty

      Always great to see you stop by, and the use of “philistine” is perfect here. Thanks for the support as always!

    • Larry,
      Always great to see you stop by, and the use of “philistine” is perfect here.  Thanks for the support as always!  Have you seen the movie the Big Night?  Great opening 5 minutes and the use of that word!  

  • AlaRecruiter

    Preach it Nasty!! 🙂 this is one of my single biggest frustrations with LinkedIn. I hate ignoring people but some of them just aren’t even trying!

    • hrnasty

      Can I get an “AMEN in the house”. We have another winner! Thanks for the support, and yes, “some of them just aren’t even trying!”. Decals will go out!

    • AlaRecruiter,
      Can I get an “AMEN in the house”.  We have another winner!  Thanks for the support, and yes, “some of them just aren’t even trying!”.  Decals will go out!  As always, thanks for the support!

  • Lou

    Dear Nasty,
    Thanks for always reading my mind when it comes to all things job search/ networking protocol! I recently received an invite from someone I had never met or talked to- a secondary connection through someone else I only briefly met. This person has quite a number (500+) connections, which I found impressive until I got the random invite. Is this high school again and we are just Facebook friending anyone and everyone we might know? I have definitely hesitated in sending an invite to people that I have made a professional connection with, so I was surprised at this and wondered if it happens a lot. I think the personal note idea makes a whole lot of sense. I don’t linkedin for fun, I want these connections to mean something to me professionally. It’s very similar to a follow-upin thank you note. Actually, I think it would be great if you could do a post about maintaining a connection you’ve formed, in the age of being internet-connected forever via Linkedin.

    Thanks-hope I get a decal, and that this wasn’t tl;dr.

    • hrnasty

      Yes, you are a WINNNER!!!! Thanks for posting to Linkedin and thanks for the comments. Really appreciate the support! I love your attitude here. “I don’t Linkedin for fun, I want these connections to mean something professionally”. Just send me an address I can send you the decal at or DM at @hr_nasty.

    • Lou
      Yes, you are a WINNNER!!!! Thanks for posting to Linkedin and thanks for the comments. Really appreciate the support! I love your attitude here. “I don’t Linkedin for fun, I want these connections to mean something professionally”.  I completely agree.  These are our careers and livelihoods!  Thanks for stopping by and no, not TLDR at all!